Yesterday I had to put my cat Kiya to sleep. The picture above was taken on what I consider to be her last day on Earth, which she spent wandering around the backyard and laying in the sun. After that she went downhill so fast that it already seemed like she was gone. I have been in such an upset and zombie-like state that I have only been able to do things that don't require my brain, like clean and sew. I was debating on whether or not I should even do a post about this, but ultimately I decided to as it might give me some closure.
I had Kiya for about 18 years. I got her when I was around 12 or 13 years old. I moved from San Jose to Portland with her when I was 19. She was with me through different jobs, apartments, and boyfriends. Through my tumultuous teens and crazy twenties. She was pretty much the one constant in my Portland life and I could always count on her to be there for me with her sweet disposition and insanely loud purr.
For the last couple of years I became more aware that she was getting old and might not be here for much longer. Then a couple of months ago the vet found a tumor on her liver so I had to prepare myself for her passing. As much as you try to prepare yourself though, it never seems to be enough. How much can you really anyways? The thing I was most afraid of was knowing when it was time for her to go. Would I keep her here too long selfishly? Would I give up too soon? Then Saturday night came and that's when I knew, she was ready to go.
So now our family of six is down to a family of five. It's the little things that get me the most, like putting out three bowls of food instead of four, getting out of the shower and not seeing her sitting there waiting for me to get out so she can jump in the tub and lick the water off of the floor (you know how all animals have their weird little quirks), and sewing without her sleeping in the chair next to me.
We buried her in the backyard in her favorite spot, the catnip garden, so when I look out there I think of her and how much I miss her. She will always have a place in my heart, and even though I might have a million cats after her, no cat will ever be able to replace her.
|Kiya in the catnip garden.
|Kiya with the rest of the family.
|Basil and Kiya.
|Rest in Peace.